"It is not outer beauty that counts, it is how beautiful you are on the inside that matters" ~ Deb DeBlois
These are the days when being far away are the hardest. I miss you so terribly much, and as I write this I fight back tears as I just want to give you a hug and a birthday smack on the bum. Mom I am sad I am not there celebrating with you today, but wanted to let you know how much I love you and how you have impacted my life. But before I begin...holy crap I can't believe you are 55. I mean seriously how many years have I been saying you were 55 and now you really are. Anyways I guess I will have to start turning that number up to 60 when I joke around with you. You don't look a day over 35 Deb D. Just had to start with some humor mom.
I love you so much and even though I am far away you are with me in my thoughts and memories that we have shared together every day. I can't believe how fast the past 5 years have flown by. It is funny because I as reflect on that time between your big 50th birthday bash and now, it is filled with so many changes and wonderful memories. On your 50th birthday I was 25 years old, out of college for three years and had said to you that all those years of you saying "I am your mother not your friend" had finally turned to "I am your daughter and your best friend". That phrase gets stronger with each passing day, and since I have become a mom has taken an even deeper meaning. The past 5 years have been a whirlwind, both of your children have kept you on your toes and each year has brought change. You have been through some major life events. As I am going through these events in my head I realize how difficult yet exciting many of them have been for you. My move to GA...then Tampa...then Delray. I remember the day we flew to Augusta with nunie, and how emotional yet supportive you were that I was leaving the place I had called home for my entire life to follow my dreams and love.
I want you to know how much I appreciate the love, support, and flexibility you have shown as I have embarked on living the life I have always dreamed. I would not be where I am today without the lessons you have taught me, the strength you have shown, and the love you have given me over the past 30 years. I know it is because now that Jack has been born everything has been put into an entirely new perspective of what it must be like to handle these changes as a parent. Especially now as every fleeting moment goes by I almost want to freeze time and have Jack stop growing. But as a parent I know what I want for my son in his life is to be happy, fulfilled, and making a difference in this world. I know this is your wish for me too...and from one parent to another I am so blessed to be experiencing all of the above. I know as a parent you say you never stop worrying, and I would give you crap and say don't worry about me I can take care of myself. I wish I could take back those words because I get it now regardless of what age you will worry about your child. The day that Jack was born I will never forget what you whispered in my ear after the nurse handed him to me. "You're his mom, his protector, his angel" I want you to know how special it was for me to have you be a part of that day with me, and the days leading up to his birth. Those were some of the most special moments that I will never forget.
The most important lesson you ingrained in my head growing up was the above quote, "It is not outer beauty that counts, it is inner beauty that really matters". I will repeat this to my children until the cows come home, and will have you to point to in those moments when they tell me I am annoying. Then I will stop them and tell them "Your mimi is the epitome of this quote". You are beautiful mom, inside and out and John, Jack, Palin, and I love you so, so much and wish you the best birthday ever! Live, Laugh, Love
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