I highly recommend this book to ANY working mom out there, and any working dad for that matter. While many might think this is a book only for woman, if a man hasn't figured out some of the feelings his working wife goes through then, this will surely help navigate the waters of emotion.
While "Lean In" touched on the points of being a working professional woman and the challenges woman have to navigate in today's work force, it also touched on family and balance. I felt very lucky reading through those chapters before bed last week and staring at John thinking to myself (as I do often) "I hit the jack pot with this guy". See when I married JMS one of the things that I loved about him was his undying support of my career. (Eyes well up as I write this) It is certainly not easy for him having a wife that travels, while he balances his demanding work schedule yet makes sure that our prized little boy is number one. Sometimes I wonder which is harder. JMS having to do it on his own a few nights each week or the emotional roller coaster I go through being away sometimes. Both are not a win, but it is a sacrifice we make for the life we want to lead. Sometimes I joke and say our teamwork is the way it is because JMS tolerates my highly opinionated personality, but the truth is we respect, support one another, and have the same vision for our life. The statistics that are pointed out in the book regarding the benefits of 50/50 marriage and high paternal involvement in childrens lives are amazing. While the struggle is often times regarding balance in a dual breadwinning household, there are many things that point in the direction of couples having the understanding for one another and a father involved as being more productive to our childrens growth.
Yesterday would be a perfect example. I was traveling to Houston for the day and at 5:15 I was in the car driving to the airport to catch my flight home. I called John and Jack was crying in the background and wouldn't stop. John was there trying to figure out what he wanted, I had him put me on speaker and belted out the Itsy Bitsy Spider to see if maybe my voice would have any impact, while telling John to get the Advil because obviously from a 1,000 miles away I figured he was probably teething. There was a hurried I will call you back and I sunk down in the back of the town car wanting to cry for not being there. An hour later I got this picture, and text "He's back to normal"
Obviously he was going to be since super dad was in charge. In moments like that I am then reminded how blessed I am for having a husband that helps hold our balance together. A few of the quotes that really hit home from the book are below.
"Fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. And the holy trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter"
The above quote is on page 24 of the book and after I read it I was like jeez louise the part about the holy trinity of fear...yep that hit home. I realize that while the other fears are not ones that I particularly have but the mom/wife one definitely is and one I struggle with. Reading this book made me feel better and more confident about this point.
My favorites from Sheryls speech at Barnard:
"You are the promise for a more equal world. So my hope for everyone here is that after you walk across this stage, after you get your diploma, after you go out tonight and celebrate hard then you will lean way into your career. You will find something you love doing and you will do it with gusto. For the right career for you and go all the way to the top"
Such a powerful statement and so true. I had the opportunity to speak at the NCAA a few weeks back and one of my top 5 pieces of advice was the same as Sheryls. If you are not doing what you love, or trying to find something you love to do then it makes things a whole lot harder. I feel like one of the biggest mistakes people make is not finding a profession they truly enjoy. Then when I say you should change it the list of excuses starts. All I know is that balancing work and a family is hard enough, never mind if you don't like what you were doing.
"I hope you find true meaning , contentment, and passion in your life. I hope you navigate the difficult times and come out with greater resolve. I hope you find whatever balance you seek with your eyes wide open. And I hope that you have the ambition to learn in to your career and run the world."
Balance is the key, and intentional quality time. I realized as I read through this book that I need to be more intentional with my time that I have with my family. While I know this in my head sometimes my actions may not be the same.
There are just so many quotes I highlighted and dog eared in this book that I will continue to turn back to. All I have to say is thank you to Sheryl Sandberg for writing this book, it has made a difference in my life and I hope my readers will go out and pick it up and it will make a difference in theirs.
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