Well I am failing miserabley on one of my very important New Years goals to stay consistent with my blog. I have not written since January 18th, and for somewhat good reason. I have been trying to just relax, and rest. January 19th was the magical day when we found out that we are expecting our first miracle baby. Now going into my 14th week I am still in shock about this entire experience, but embracing every moment and the rollercoaster of emotions that goes along with knowing that there is this small little person growing inside of me. I have been so fortunate throughout the past eight weeks to have no morning sickness, only occasional bouts of nauseau, and really an overall good level of energy. Now mind you I have not been able to avoid all of the early symptoms of pregnancy and I will refrain from sharing the other "symptoms" on this blog. Yet to say the least it has not been 100% perfect but pretty close. I feel so, so, so, so, so, a million times fortunate for this, since I have heard so many difficult stories from close friends about how sick they were in their first trimester. Traveling as much as I do, I don't know how I would have dealt with the sickness. One of the things I believe has helped has been working out regularly, it has helped my energy and kept my spirits up when my raging hormones have left me feeling blah. We heard the babys heartbeat at 9 weeks, and had our second ultrasound just this past week and it is now starting to really hit me. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes, (well pretty much everything does at this point in time). It was the most amazing feeling to hear the babys heartbeat, and see its tiny little body taking shape in my stomach. For a girl that once said five years ago " I am never having children" it makes me laugh at my naiveness, and feel so blessed for this miracle. To lead off of that I will share some thoughts that I have been wanting to write even before we knew we were going to be bringing a little munchkin into this world and it is my theory on love and babies.
One of the most interesting things I have noticed in sharing the news with people is how they want to know whether or not John and I were "trying to have a baby". That leads me to my theory on first love, and then I will tell you my theory on babies. I guess some would say I am a hopeless romantic, but I am one that believes that all of us truly has someone out there that is their soulmate. Lucky for me I found my soulmate a long time ago, and thank god everyday for finding this amazing person to share my life with. But my theory is as follows. In order to truly love someone else fully, I believe you have to be happy with who you are as a person, love yourself first, and be happy with where you are going in your life. This is what happened with JMS and I, we were friends first, grew apart, and then grew together. Through those growth experiences I believe it has helped us have a stronger friendship, marriage and love for one another.
Now you are probably wondering how this ties into the "were you trying" question. My theory has always been that when you are happy and satisfied with your marriage and your goals are aligned that is when you can start to think about having a baby. Well obviously a baby is an entirely different ball game. Conversations about bringing a baby into this world were a regular occurence for JMS and I since before we had even tied the knot. We had always known we wanted to start a family in time, but JMS is the one that pointed out the day he believed that he knew we were ready or I was ready to have a baby. That day was January 9th, 2011. My biggest fear like many out there was bringing a baby into this world that we live in, with violence, and hatred, and all of the bad things we hear about everyday on TV. That scared me to death, we repeatedly hear from people all around us that the world is a different place now then ever before. When the shootings happened in Tucson, and the little 9 year old girl was killed there was a news clipping about how she was "Involved in everything in her school, and wanted to be a politician" Something hit me with that story and JMS and I were driving home from dinner one night talking about this devastating tragedy and I said "I am ready to have a baby because I want us to bring a person into this world that is going to make it a better place" and JMS looked at me and said "You're ready to have a baby" and he was right. At that point whenever we found out we were going to have a baby it was going to be perfect, I can say we didn't necesarrily think ten days later we would be jumping around our bedroom on a Weds. morning saying "We're having a baby". Although the next six months will be filled with emotions, excitement and anxiety being at the top of the list I am mentally prepared for our little bundle of joy to make our lives that much sweeter, and for us to teach our child all of the things that we can to make them the best person they can be and to make our world a better, brighter place in the future.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
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This was the best blog I've read online in a while...love you & your sweet life. So very proud of the woman that you've become. :)
ReplyDeleteAw, love this post. I am SO so SO excited for you guys! You're going to be one amazing mama. What a lucky baby!
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